An unusual question.....

This one is short, but definitely sweet, and for those who had come to believe that my days of disaster were over, you were wrong....

In the company where I work there is a canteen were everyone congregates for coffee and chats at 4pm. Its always a light hearted affair with topics ranging from Global warming to a hamster with two heads in a lab in Mongolia.

On one particular day in the not too distant past, okay, yesterday, a fellow co-worker whom for the sake of convenience we shall call Henrietta, walked into the canteen to grab a coffee and sit down. I was already sitted at the table, relaxing, and after Henrietta had got her coffee she sat down on the other side of the table from me.

Henrietta as it happens is about six months pregnant, and as she sat down I casually began to ask her a question about the pregnancy, in front of everyone, which was okay, as it was not meant to be a strange question - Before I go any further, those whom know me, will know that I have the knack of getting key words mixed up at the worst possible moments. I had intended to ask her:
"Hey, Henrietta, you got any strange cravings?".
It may not seem obvious how I could possibly get this one wrong, but I did. What in fact passed my lips was:

"Hey, Henrietta, you got any strange fetishes?"

Immediately as soon as I said it, I knew I had something incorrect, but i could not figure out what it was. I stared at the ceiling for a moment pondering what I had said. Suddenly it dawned on me and feeling horrified I brought my eyes from the ceiling to Henrietta, whom looked shocked to say the least.

At this point I promptly wet myself, metaphorically of course, and thankfully Henrietta did too, also metaphorically I hasten to add....

Back from the Brink and into the Clink...

Well it seems life is playing a joke on me, a permanent one.
Why do I say this? I say this because as soon as I retired this blog, everything wacky started to happen again. I have thus deduced that in order to protect my health, I must start to write again, in the hope that my life will return to normal. Fat chance.

A couple of weeks ago my wife and I were on a train, coming home from a day out in the city. We sat at the far end of a carriage facing each other, beside a window with a view over the sea. This all sounds nice so far, but matters were soon to take a turn towards the bizarre highway.
The day in question was quite warm and there were a number of wasps about, which I might add that my wife is utterly terrified of. During our trip on the train a wasp started buzzing between us and also induced terror in my wife. Since we were at the end of a carriage, most people were too far away from us to see the wasp, and only saw this terrified woman sitting opposite her husband.

What happened next was not exactly helpful.

In my infinite wisdom I decided to slap the wasp into the window. The wasp was positioned halfway between us, touching against the glass. I raised my right palm and slammed the wasp into the window. As many of you know I can be a little over eager sometimes, so the thud of me hitting the window was not what is commonly refereed to as quiet...

That may all seem fine and dandy, until I tell you that the other passengers who had not seen the wasp thought I had just assaulted my wife!!
Immediately other passengers confronted us about what had just happened, and if it were not for my wife explaining the terror of the wasp, I might not be writing this from this side of the clink!

Retirement

Well, its a sad sad day.

I have decided to retire this blog, for what I hope are the right reasons. You see I'm not having as many bizarre situations occur these days, perhaps sense is creeping in somewhere, or perhaps a guardian angel has me as a permanent assignment?
I could add various little stories, like the one involving a full bladder in the back of a car, a soda bottle, a nun and a traffic packed road, but I dont wish to dilute the quality of the blog like I did the Soda....

I have another more serious blog now where I write about various technology related subjects, on gizmo.newsvine.com so feel free to drop by and have a look.

I will not be deleting this blog, and if at some stage in the future my guardian angel dies in a tragic blimp accident, I'll bring this blog back to life, but for now, its a little bit of history........